Parent's Night Out - It is Not What it Was Before the Kids!

Our church hosted a parents night out last Friday.  For the cool price of 10 bucks for 1 kid, or 20 bucks for as many as you could find bring have, you were assured the children's safety and comfort, in a familiar environment, with familiar people, and where they even fed them pizza for supper.  I am a bargain hunter at heart, and I know one when I see it, so we marked the date, dropped a registration form and a twenty at the preschool desk, and I got out my heels and make up.

As that Friday drew nearer (I am a procrastinator and waited until to pay, which was the Sunday before) it occured to me that I needed to find a place for my brother, whom I take care of, to go.  Well, YAY, mom moved back to the area.  A quick phone call to her containing my plea and a promise of gas money, and voila! A brother-sitter was found.  :-D

Friday night arrived and at 5:30 I was finally able to get in the shower.  I wanted to leave at 5:30, so I was already behind.  I showered up, blew dry my hair, put on a sassy animal print dress, had some deep conversation with myself about whether or not I should wear the girdle (I didn't), and put on my makeup. 

Putting on make up with four kids, three of whom are girls, is not a quick task.  In between applying lipgloss to my 6 year old and 2 year old, answering the forty million questions asked by my 10 year old, and explaining to my 5 year old son, that no, Daddy and Mommy would appreciate it if he DID NOT wear makeup, putting make up on - foundation, lipgloss, eye shadow, blush, and mascara - took 10 minutes!  I was exhausted and we had not even left the house.

We finally left at ten til six.  We dropped the kids off and proceeded to the restaurant of our choosing.  It was the new Mexican joint's grand opening; they had a live mariachi band and 30% off your order, so we went there.  After a brief wait in the foyer, we were called to take our seats. That is when the trouble started. 

The wonderful heels I picked out?  They did not agree with the tile floor at the restaurant.  As soon as I stepped on to the tile, I knew there was going to be a problem and the thirty second walk to our table was going to make my walk down the aisle to matrimony seem as easy as giving candy to a baby.  I was literally in fear for the wholeness of my bones, my pride, and my very life.  I kept trying to get my dh's attention who was several feet in front of me, so I could hang on to him, but he evidently could not hear my desperate pleas.  If I only suspected it before, I now am certain his hearing abilities do not include any sentence starting with, "Hey, Honey?"  When I finally slid in got to slid over to the table, I grabbed on to it and was grateful for something solid.  I was hoping that no one witnessed what looked like a drunken stagger. 

My dh observed my wild eyed look and slightly shallow breathing, and said nothing.  So, I volunteered the information that he should have been asking about he had to be wondering about.  "I almost died getting here."  I explained the dilemma of my shoes and made him put his foot on one to show him what I meant.  "Oh, wow," was all he said.  We ate our mediocre pseudo mexican food that was incredibly, wonderfully cheap, paid our bill, and with me holding his arm and us walking verrryyyyy slowly, we left.  The food may have been better had I not been so distracted with thinking about how I was going to have to walk out of the restaurant barefooted. 

When we got to the van, it was 7:30 or so, and we were now faced with the issue of what to do next.  What do parents do with out the kids?  I texted my facebook and got several suggestions, my favorites were shower, go to the bathroom, and the store.  We opted for the latter and went to the bookstore.  It was great.  Who knew that you could actually look at books in there?  I pretty much read the book, "Inconcieveable" which convinced me that I could carry a child for someone else, and then went to the children's department.  Surely there was some gem of a book that would make my homeschooling efforts seem effortless over there, right?  Well, if there was, I couldn't find it and after looking for a few minutes, I decided to find my husband.  At the end of the aisle, I ran into a friend and her husband from church. 

They were on "parents night out" too!  My husband must have heard me laughing (my voice carries - I wasn't loud) and we all talked together.  I think it may have been the most fun I have had, standing around in the bookstore with other lost parents, who can not remember what prekid dates looked like.  I got to tell the story of how I risked my life to eat a supper that cost us all of $13.65, and got the reassurance that, though life threatening, my shoes were too cute NOT to wear.  Then we talked about homeschool curriculum, the local tutorial, and the kids.  It was great!

I love my boring, simple life and after being parted from the children for three whole hours I was thrilled to get them back.  :-)

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Rebecca Smith said...

HILARIOUS! Oh, how we can relate!! Too bad we chose to wander the aisles of Walmart after dinner instead of the bookstore :) said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Next time, you, me, and the other couple need to plan a get together!

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