How to be a Good Finder

I am a good finder.  If it is lost, I can find it.  I never worry about losing my keys, because I always find them.  There are a few rare exceptions.  Last December, my dh lost my dh and I lost a $300 check.  We searched high and low and it was gone.  That was a sad day/week.  We came to the conclusion that one of the children may have thrown it away in their zeal to help 'clear off the desk'.  It now may take an act of congress to get it replaced.

Anyway, I regularly joke around with my sister that men are horrible finders.  Let's review this hypothetical situation.  The phone book has been misplaced.  They waltz into a room, raise their head off their shoulders a bit, turn around in a circle, and survey the area.  With the announcement, "It is not in here!" they walk away, unaware that the phonebook is under the pair of socks that they put on the coffee table.  To my consternation, I have found that this affliction does not only affect men and children, but some women. 

If this is you, NEVER FEAR.  I am here to help.  Here is the scenario:  You have lost your keys.  You have run around frantically, throwing things around, and yelling at the kids.  You are going to be late.
Take the following steps.

1. Stop panicking.  You must stop, take a deep breath, and calm down.  
2. Gather the kids, tell them you will give whoever finds the keys a dollar.  Send them to look in their room.
3. Think about the things that go with keys.  Purse, cell phone, etc.  Do you have those items?
4. Retrace your steps, orally.  Say them out loud. When do you last remember having them?  You used your keys when the family went out yesterday and you made it home, so the keys are at home.  Go look in the places around the path you took when you came in. 
5. Check your car: look in the ignition, look under the seats, look in the console, look under the car. 
6. Check your purse.  Empty it on the kitchen table.  Make sure it is empty.  Put everything back.
7. Check your current pockets and the pockets of everything you may have worn in the past 3 days, including your coat!
8. Check where you dress and undress.
9. Remeber to NOT panic.  This is the most important thing.  Do not get emotional about this.  Emotions can cloud your memory and your judgement.  Call your husband and ask him if he had picked them up.  Do not fight, snip at, or otherwise engage your husband.  Calmly thank him anyway and keep looking.
10. If you have calmly retraced your steps and can't find them, move to the flat surfaces of the house.
11. Look at all the flat surfaces. 
12. Look under and beside the flat surfaces.
13. If I still have not found them, I look in the crevices of cushions.  Maybe they fell out of my pocket when I sat down. 
14. Start looking in every room.  Start with one corner of the room and look everywhere.  Look high, look low.  If you have a toddler, crawling around on the floor at their level sometimes help. 
15. Look in stupid places, like the refrigerator. 
16. Stay Calm!!!!!  Go back and repeat all of the steps. 
17. Look in the trash. 
18. Look under your bed.  Ahh Ha!!  There they are in the last place you would have ever looked!  They must have fallen out of your husbands pocket when he was taking his pants off!  That's right!  He took them from you when you were carrying in groceries.  :)

Final notes:  I don't call my husband first because I don't want to hear it I don't want to worry him, until I have checked the most logical places.  I attempt to bribe the kids with money because it motivates them to be looking while you are and that is what my mom always did.  LOL  But it turned me into a great finder.
Think, think, think.  Stay calm.  Think.  Picture everything you did in your mind.  Think about if the baby could have gotten what you have lost.  Babies play with things and leave them lying around.  They do not hide them.  If the baby had it, and she is anything like my baby, she can bring it to you if you can make her understand what you want.  :)  That is how I found the scissors last night. 

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